Killing the adolescent

24/11/07

2007-11-24T20:40:00.000+08:00

mak datok tahun brape ni?

22/10/07

2007-10-22T10:32:00.001+08:00

I don't need you a little and someday.I want you alot and everyday.my dreams are your reality.looks like we will never be on the same page.ever.its wearing thin.cheap regrets i cant forget falling to the debt still.dont leave me empty.

2007-10-15T16:27:00.000+08:00

Have been taking some self-taught driving lessons at the back of my housing estate carpark.driving back and again down that silly stretch of road.but its damn fun.putting my foot down that pedal.even fun can't describe the feeling.got a couple of rough moments with my mum a.k.a the teacher.taught me how the brake was to be used.i mean how much pressure to be added when slowing down.its was like /------------> and not /--->.(legend. /= brake pedal. ---= time taken to reach end of pedal.>= end of pedal) get what i mean?slowly on the brakes or it'll be a rodeo ride.sorry about my unclear illustration.
okay i can hear my mum nagging.shit man.lucky for her I can't find my tape.haha.

the one and only day will come.time to pay for the bad things I've done.suffocated dreams in my mind.drowned by the life thats seem a naught.looking up to the sky when its dark.falling victim to the game that I have never won.time to change it will you be there?

11/10/07

2007-10-11T12:01:00.000+08:00

Can anyone suggest the most worse way to celebrate your Hari Raya?hmm.maybe I can.well.first i assume many would celebrate with their family.father, mother,brother and sister.but me?where the hell is my dad?he is somewhere in the far reaches of a foreign land.to make it even worse,his birthday is on the 12 of october 2007!which is like a day before Hari Raya and there is no one to celebrate with him.if only teleportation existed or airline flights were as cheap as a macdonalds meal.$7 to fly to London?wow!with the o' levels coming thick and fast the is like no celebrating then all the fasting is in vain.but nvm it is all for the good.lastly SELAMAT HARI RAYA MA'AF ZAHIR BATIN!

its easy to tell what catches my attention.carve her name in my skin.I won't let it build up inside of me.stay captive.

02/10/07

2007-10-02T21:56:00.000+08:00

I have lost it.no more killing.nowhere to go.nothing to believe.she made me this way.but I didn't see it.always troubled and never having peace around.I've changed for you.maybe its time for you to do the same for me?I can't pull myself together now.cause she hurt me too much.hurt me where I bleed the most.I bet you don't know the blind sacrifices I made just to see your face.I don't want to move on because I can't find the archetype of you in any of them.now you leave me in silence when you were my center of attention day and night,wind or gust,rain and storm.those days with you remain in me but they are starting to tarnish and fade away with lesser meaning in them.now I can't explain this to myself.im bleeding till there is no blood left and the pain is still here.I can see you near me like the sun but I still feel the coldness.you leave me scarred.you leave me empty taking my life away and throwing it away.you killed my adolescent.you deceived me.I won't be the same again.I wish I had a choice.I wish you could understand.all the things I said and all the things you heard are all true.there is nothing more that I can give.let me out.or just kill me.

30/09/07

2007-09-30T17:08:00.000+08:00

wasting my days away.again.boring life,boring person.just feel like eating.but can't.what an ass.yesterday...hmm.a day mixed with stupidity and tired legs.I wish tired doesn't exist.so I can walk to the edge of the world and play soccer like some crazy guy.ate outside.the food made me feel like I was at africa.then took a walk at lake park to nowhere.walking in the dark.hahaha.pretty cool.heard some quacking or something like that.which made us scared cause that was a sign of a ghost.really!saw blanglah riding bicycle.made fun of them.haha.heard more sounds of ghost but just ignored.went to KFC to find an old friend.haha.then went home..tired..

so your only way to end the trouble is to ignore me?
if that is the case.im fine with that.but you promised to make things better.

24/09/07

2007-09-24T18:08:00.000+08:00

ART.who the hell invented art?stupid da vinci and your stupid code.go to hell!okay okay sorry...because of art and the tedious cutting with the darn knife,makes my finger hurt.I feel like stabbing someone with the knife.and to make things worst,the darn fasting month.there's so many things you can't do.like the obvious where you can't eat and drink(now I know what poverty feels like),no cursing,no talking behind people's back(well I've seen people do it.blasphemy!),what else..hmm..some are too dumb to mention like what raffian did.haha damn joker.14hrs of hunger curbing yourself from the temptations.imagine 14hrs x 30 days = me growing thin.haha.maybe 'some' people should try it.right?haha.

don't make me wait anymore cause can I hear six feet calling my name.make my scars worth the pain,make my days lose the hate.I don't want to crawl back into the dark.

happy 2nd birthday to misha humaira.

16/10/07

2007-09-16T13:13:00.000+08:00

tired of the same mistakes and answers.been through the same over and over again till its all so numb.but I mean the words I told you cause everything is nothing without you.I lose what I have just to see you and I want you to know that I wont let you go cause my forever is never a doubt.I don't want to walk down the streets all alone with nowhere to go.the scars are worth the pain just looking at you and see you smile.

but it all seem so shattered.my life encased in your ignorance.never will I forget the coldness of the day even with the sun rising.we were never on the same page.you tear me apart and piece me back together with the words you say.

don't you see.its all about you.but you never took the time.my life here is withering away.I see no way back.cause I have lost my way.

08/09/07

2007-09-08T13:39:00.000+08:00

SAKURA.lit in red up on a hill in the west.a place that can't be forgotten.a place where empty stomachs come to fill the tank.that was where we went for a buffet party and came back with a bulge.an entertaining night from a day of boredom.full of calamity where ice-cream were all over the floor, coffee cream and sugar were on heads.sniffing from floor to floor,from end to end to look for food which was in abundance.some tasted like drugs where you would ask for more but some are completely atrocious.and we pretty much owned that place.

all of this is courtesy of firman.happy 15th bday!

31/08/07

2007-08-31T13:33:00.001+08:00

This is who I am when I don't know myself.
And this is what I choose when I have got nothing left.
This is how I break when I hit the ground.
And this is how it hurts when I pretend I don't feel any pain.

Although you're gone,these candles burn without a flame.
My final call to you,hope you are listening.
How could you leave me that way.
Where did you go?

11/08/07

2007-08-11T11:48:00.000+08:00

Mendak to start with.ARRGH!Nak buat ape ni?Family gone for a whole week.Home alone.Its so quiet in here.Talking to myself.Tngh tngk wrestling.haha.half-naked man touching each other.EWW!ok ok.anyone wanna come to my hse?accompany me.im so lonely.at least can watch some movie here.got huge screen for your info.good for movie watching.pls come!end my loneliness.

07/07/07

2007-07-07T15:52:00.000+08:00

I watched you walked away.hopeless with nothing to say.wondering what were the last words I said to you.still I want and still I ache but still I wait.don't follow me down cause I don't want this horror to remain.there is no forever just today don't let the sacrifices waste away.

If you ever thought of whether you love someone, you already stop loving that person forever.